Searching
by Greaserfreak
Summary: Socs seem to have it all while greasers seem to have nothing. But as Chris discovers, no matter what you have or don't have, everyone is searching for the same thing.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I just finished watching The Outsiders The Complete Novel. It's really really good. The movie was good before, but with the added scenes and soundtrack, it's even better. Anyway, this is a story that I came up with after watching some of the teens at my church where I'm a youth leader. I know I'll get mixed reactions, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. But, Chris is my character.

I used to think that socs had it all. After all, they lived in the nice homes in the nice neighborhoods and drove the nice cars, wearing the nice clothes. If you knew someone who had the money to buy all this great stuff, wouldn't you think they had it all? And socs do seem to have it all. That's if money can really buy it all.

I also used to think that greasers had nothing. I mean, we're the poor ones on the wrong side of town. We don't have a lot of money or fancy stuff. Some of us are lucky enough to just get by. Oh, sure we have our friends who stick by us. But even the socs have friends. But it doesn't change things. Greasers have nothing and socs have it all. At least that's what I used to think.

Anyway, my name is Chris. I'm fifteen and have blue eyes that look like the sky on a clear summer day. My hair is dark brown and sort of long. Like my friends, I usually put grease in my hair, but I don't slick it back. I hate how my hair looks slicked back. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a greaser. So are my friends.

We were all gathered in the Curtis home. Our usual place to just crash if nothing else was going on. It's probably the nicest house in the neighborhood. Not because they have a lot of money, they don't. But because Darry, Soda and Ponyboy keep it clean and as nice as they can. See, they have to be careful because their parents passed and the state only lets them stay together as long as they behave. Plus, their parents were always inviting us over for dinner and stuff. So, I guess it's only natural for them to do as their parents did. And Darry never locks the front door. That way any of us can just enter no matter what time of day or night it is.

Steve and Soda were wrestling on the living room floor while Ponyboy and I tried to do our homework. Which isn't easy when you have to keep moving around so you won't get caught in the middle of the other two wrestling. Two-Bit was watching a cartoon on the television and complaining because it didn't have Mickey Mouse in it. Darry just stayed in the kitchen cooking dinner for all of us.

I try not to eat at the Curtis home too much. Darry works hard enough to keep Soda and Pony fed, I don't want him to think I expect him to feed me too. Which is how I would feel if Two-Bit and Steve came over for dinner every night. I told Darry this once and he just nodded. He's used to having them over for dinner all the time.

"Hey guys, dinner's ready." Darry called from the kitchen. Which was followed by Two-Bit whooping and running for the kitchen.

I looked at Ponyboy who just shook his head and grinned. He stood up and headed for the kitchen himself. I followed and helped myself to the meat loaf and mashed potatoes that Darry had prepared. I was careful not to take too much. Which Soda noticed as always.

"Hey Chris, take more. You know Darry always makes plenty for us." Soda told me with his contagious grin.

I grinned back at him. "I know. I promise if I'm still hungry later, I'll eat more."

Soda nodded his approval and filled his own plate. He even sat next to me at the table. It was like having dinner with your own family. Maybe because we are like family.

Author's note: This chapter is short. But it'll be a good story. I know I don't have to ask you to read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost eight when I left the Curtis home and started the walk to my own home. I was walking alone even though Soda had offered to come with me. Usually, greasers don't walk alone because if the socs decide to jump you, it's nice to have others there who will help you out. But I had declined Soda's offer. Besides, if he had come with, he would have had to walk by himself back to his place. So, I walked alone.

I was half way home when a black Mustang pulled up beside me and four socs got out. As they surounded me, I quickly looked for a way to escape. To be honest, I wasn't to thrilled with the idea of being jumped. At that moment, I wished that I had had one of the gang come with me. Especially since I know I can't fight off four socs by myself.

"Hi grease." One of them said with a fake smile.

"Hey." I replied trying to act casual. "How's it going?"

Two of the socs laughed.

"Oh, things are going really well, grease." The first soc replied. "We're just in a helpful mood tonight. Aren't we guys?"

The other three nodded and one put his hand on my shoulder.

The first soc continued, "See grease, it's not wise to walk the streets alone. You never know what might happen."

I frowned slightly. I didn't know what these socs were up to, but I was sure it wasn't good. And I was positive that they weren't in a helpful mood. Not unless helping themselves counts. They had me surrounded by now. Each wearing the same fake smile on their face.

"Thanks guys, but I really don't need help." I told them.

"No?" The first soc asked. "Hey, greaser doesn't need help!"

At that moment, one of them shoved me to the ground and they all pounced on me like a bunch of hungry lions attacking their prey. I tried to fight back, but like I said, I can't fight off four guys by myself. And these socs were stronger than I was. Before I knew it , I was screaming for the gang.

"Oh, so now the greaser wants help." The first soc said as he punched me in the mouth.

"Hey! What's this? An unfair fight?" A familiar voice said.

Instantly, the socs got up and rushed for the Mustang, but not before the gang took a few swings at them. A minute later the socs drove off, cursing at us.

Darry pulled me to my feet. "Are you okay?"

I nodded.

"Chris, why don't you come back to our place?" Soda asked. "You can stay the night."

I started to say no, but Pony nodded encouragingly. "Alright."

"II told you I should have walked with you, Chris." Soda told me.

"Yeah, but what if you had been jumped going back to your place?" I asked. "You would have been alone yourself."

Soda flexed his muscles which compared to Darry's weren't that impressive. "I can handle them." He bragged with a crazy grin on his face.

Darry shook his head. "Sure little buddy."

Ponyboy just laughed while Two-Bit and Steve pretended not to know them.

I had to grin. "Those socs sure had a tuff looking car."

Steve nodded in agreement. He loves cars. Sometimes I think he knows cars better than he knows himself.

"Have you guys ever wondered if the socs think their cars are tuff, too? Or if they're just another thing to spend their money on?" I asked not knowing why I was asking it.

Two-Bit stared at me as if I had just asked why the grass was green. "Everyone knows the socs spend their money on anything they want."

"Yeah." I nodded in agreement. "But have you ever wondered if they have everything a person could want, then why do they have to go out and buy more stuff?"

The others were all looking at me. I wasn't sure why I was asking this stuff. I mean, most greasers would give anything to be able to spend money on everything under the sun like the socs do. Still I couldn't help wondering what drove the socs to spend money the way they did. I also wondered why us greasers ,even though we didn't like the socs, envied them so much. Was it really the money, or was there something else we assumed they had but we didn't? I didn't ask this. The gang was already giving me weird looks.

"Now I see why you and Pony get along so well." Steve was commenting."You both ask crazy questions."

Soda gave him a playful punch in the shoulder. "Lay off Steve. His question isn't that crazy. Besides, I think we've all wondered that at least once."

"Yeah, I know I have." Pony admitted.

Steve just rolled his eyes and gave Pony a 'you would' look. Pony ignored him and walked next to me on my left side. Soda was walking on my right. The entire way back to the Curtis home, I continued to wonder about the socs and the real reason for their spending habits.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve was glaring at me as we all walked back to the Curtis home. He never asked questions like I just did. To him socs were socs and greasers were greasers and there was nothing similar between the two. He believed in the facts. His facts.

"Steve, quit giving Chris those looks." Darry spoke up from behind us.

"Yeah," Soda agreed linking his arms with me and Steve, "we're all buddies. Besides, there's nothing wrong with wondering about things."

"Socs have money to spend it. They have tuff cars because they can. They wear madras because they can. And we can't." Steve said matter of factly.

"Well, okay." I said with a sigh. I wasn't in the mood to argue.

But I allowed my mind to wander as we walked across the front yard and into the Curtis home. I still had questions. I still wanted to know why the socs spent money the way they did. And why did us greasers envie them so much? It seemed to me it was more than money or anything else. It was almost as if both groups were constantly searching for something. I wondered if we were all searching for the same thing. Which led me to wonder if maybe greasers and socs weren't so different after all.

Soda unlinked his arms from mine and Steve's. Steve said bye to us and left with Two-Bit. He'd return later. Soda looked at me carefully. "You have a lot on your mind, don't you, Chris?"

I looked at him, surprised. "How did you know?"

He laughed. "I live with Pony, remember? I know these things. So, what's bugging you/ Still wondering why socs spend money like they do?"

"Yeah." I admitted. "But, I'm also wondering if maybe we're all more similar than we think. And, I'm wondering if maybe we're all just searching for something but none of us knows what it is."

Darry shook his head. "You and Pony both have wild imaginations."

"Maybe he's on to something." Pony said. "I mean, I talk to Cherry and Randy. They're socs but their not so different from us."

"True." Soda agreed.

We stayed up and talked for a while. But we didn't stay up too late. Pony and I had scool the next day. Also, Darry and Soda had to work. But even as we talked, I still wondered about what greasers and socs could be searching for.


	4. Chapter 4

I tried to keep my questions to myself for a while. Ponyboy was the only one who understood where I was coming from and Soda tried to understand. The others seemed to just get either irritated or nodded absently just to humor me. Of course Steve made an occassional sarcastic remark and Two-Bit tried to make a joke of the whole thing. So, I tried to keep my questions to myself.

"Hey, Chris, I'm going to the DX station for a Pepsi. Want to come with?" Ponyboy asked me after school let out Tuesday afternoon.

"Might as well. It's not like I have anything better to do." I replied.

We walked in silence most of the way, then Pony glanced at me and asked, "Do you really think that the socs are searching for something and that's why they keep spending their money?"

"Well, that's part of it." I replied. "But it's not just the socs, it's us too."

Pony kicked a pebble before responding. "What do you mean?"

By then we were at the DX station and I really didn't feel like hearing Steve's remarks. Steve had drove to the station after school because he had to work. He didn't even ask if Pony and I wanted a ride. And Two-Bit had decided to skip school which is funny because he enjoys school. So, Pony and I walked inside the station and were greeted by Soda who was behind the counter.

"Hey you two! I'm guessing you want a Pepsi, right Pony?" Soda grinned at us.

Pony nodded.

"And, what about you, Chris?" Soda asked me. "What can I get for you?"

"I'll have a Mountain Dew." I said.

While Soda got our sodas, Pony leaned against the counter and looked at me. "Chris, you didn't answer me. What did you mean?"

I sighed. "Well, I know we live on the poor side of town. And it would be nice to have more money. But is it really about the money? If we had money like the socs do, would we really be satisfied? Does money bring happiness or is it something else?"

"I'm not sure," Soda was saying as he reappeared and handed us our sodas. "but if you find out, let me know."

"Soda, you're the happiest person I know." Pony told him taking a sip of his Pepsi.

I smiled and drank my Mountain Dew. I was glad Soda was there. He didn't make sarcastic remarks. "Is Steve working on a car or something?"

Soda nodded. "Yeah, he's in the garage. You can go say hi if you want."

"Nah, I'll let him work." I replied while Pony went outside to finish his Pepsi. I started to follow, but Soda grabbed my arm.

"Chris, don't let Steve's remarks get to you. He has it rough at home and tends to take his frustrations out on others. But, he really doesn't think your questions are bad." Soda told me.

I just looked at the floor. I knew Steve's home life wasn't the greatest. But none of us had the best home life. And it seemed like he was the only one who took the frusration out on others.

"Hey, maybe the answer to your questions could help Steve out." Soda said. "I know he wonders if his life would be better if the circumstances were different."

"I don't know Soda." I said slowly. "I know he's your buddy and part of the gang, but I just don't think he digs me."

"Of course he does. Don't be silly." Soda told me. "But try to find the answer to your questions. I want to know if you're really on to something."

"Okay, I should get going. Pony and I have a report to do for biology." I replied as I started for the door.

"I'll see you both later." Soda called as the door closed behind me.

Ponyboy was in the garage talking to Steve but ended their conversation when he saw me. He knew we had to go anyway.

"Bye Pony and Chris!" Steve said as he went back to work on a car. Pony waved and fell in step beside me.

"What did Soda want?" Pony asked.

I told him what Soda had said.

"Maybe he's right." Pony told me. "Besides, sometimes Steve is okay."

"I guess." I said, knowing that Pony was right. And now after my talk with Soda, I knew that my questions needed an answer. But I wasn't sure where or how I was going to find that answer. In fact, I didn't even know if there really was an answer. All I could do was search until I found it if there was an answer to be found.


	5. Chapter 5

How do you find what people are searching for when you have no idea where to find it? And just what was it I had to find? I pondered this later as I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling. It was late and I was trying to get some sleep. But my thoughts kept me awake.

As I laid there, I could hear yelling at the house two doors down from where I lived. At Steve's house. There's a bunch of yelling there every few days. And Steve usually ends up spending the night at the Curtis's. Which was what I assumed was happening when the yelling stopped and the sound of a slamming door followed.

I rolled over onto my side and tried to go to sleep. Only to be disturbed by a rapping on my window. Sighing, I got out of bed and went to the window only to find Steve standing there. I quickly opened the window and motioned for him to come inside, helping him pull himself up so he could get in.

"Thanks Chris." Steve panted once he was inside. "Mind if I stay here?"

"No, but why aren't you going to the Curtis's like you usually do?" I couldn't help asking.

"I don't know." Steve mumbled. "Well, I have questions of my own."

I closed my window. "What are you talking about?"

Steve sat down on my bed. "Well, what if you're right? What if everyone is searching for something?"

"And?" I sat down next to him.

"Chris, it seems like I have this huge hole in my heart or something. I don't know how to describe it. But it's like this empty feeling. You know, kind of like when you get really hungry?" Steve paused to looked at me through his curly hair.

I nodded and he continued.

"I keep working on cars. I spend a lot of time with you guys. I do anything I can to try to fill that hole. But it's always there." Steve sighed. "And then there's my dad. I've always wondered if things would be better if we lived in a nicer neighborhood. Not a socy one but a nicer one than this one. I've spent so much time being angry at the world and I'm sick of it. Nothing this world offers seems to satisfy the emptiness that I feel. And I don't think money or a better home would change that."

"I thought you thought my questions were stupid." I said softly.

"I did. At first. But for some reason, I can't stop thinking about them. It's like listening to a scratched record that keeps skipping and plays the same phrase over and over again." Steve admitted.

"And it gets so annoying that you can't sleep." I found myself saying.

Steve chuckled. "Exactly!"

We sat in silence for a while. And for once there wasn't an uncomfortable tension between us. Instead, there was a sort of understanding.

"Soda wants me to find whatever it is everyone is searching for." I found myself saying.

"I want to find it, too." Steve told me. "I'm tired of having this empty feeling and being angry all the time."

"But, how are we going to find it?" I asked. "I don't even know where to look."

Steve stared at his hands for a few minutes before he responded with, "We can't look where we usually go, that's for sure. If we could, we'd have the answer."

"That makes sense." I said. " Still, we have no idea where to look. At least I don't."

We didn't say anymore after that. I think we were both trying to figure out where we could find what everyone was searching for. And both of us fell asleep as we each pondered our own thoughts anyway. So it didn't matter that neither of us spoke for the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: Okay, someone asked about the television series since I used to watch it. First of all, it was not cheasy at all. It was very good. If you like the book and the movie, chances are, you'd like the series too. And I'm hoping that it will be released on dvd so other Outsiders fans can see it. Just don't expect it to follow the book if it does get released because the series takes place two years after the book.

Steve and I walked over to the Curtis house the next morning before school. Normally, Steve would have drove us, but his dad had locked the garage and Steve didn't feel like getting his key. Besides, Darry would drop us off along with Pony on his way to work. Either that or Two-Bit would take us if his car was running.

"Hey you two!" Soda greeted us when we walked in the door.

Steve mumbled "Hi" as he stuffed a slice of chocolate cake in his mouth. Of course, he got chocolate all over his face. Does that every morning at the Curtis home. It's the only family that eats chocolate cake for breakfast.

"Hi, Chris." Pony said as he came out of his bedroom.

"Hey." I said as I helped myself to a piece of cake.

Soda came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Looks like you and Steve are getting along okay."

I nodded. "He spent the night last night and we had a talk."

"So, you two are cool?" Soda asked.

"I think so." I didn't mention the conversation I had with Steve. I figured Steve would tell him if he really wanted him to know.

"Soda, get your shoes. It's time to go." Darry told Soda as he joined us. He turned to the others "I guess I have to drop you all off at school, huh?"

"Guess so." Pony replied. "Unless Two-Bit shows up."

"No, I'll take you. It'll be one less thing for you and Chris to search for." Darry said as he picked me up, carried me acroos the room and dropped me on the couch.

Steve just looked at me and gave a small nod. It seemed like the whole gang was searching now. Wanting answers to my questions. Only Two-Bit and Darry seemed either uninterested or too involved in their own lives to think about searching for anything. Then again, maybe they were searching and just didn't know it yet.

"Okay, I'm ready." Soda reappeared carrying his shoes. He doesn't put them on until he has to. Which is usually before he steps inside the DX station to start work. I think Darry gave up on yelling at him about his socks getting holes in them.

"Alright, everyone in the truck!" Darry instructed as he held the door open. "Soda, I'm driving."

Pony, Steve and I all sat in the back. Soda sat up front in the cab with Darry. That's how it usually was when Darry took us to school.

"So, what's the deal with you two?" Pony asked. "Why do you seem all friendly with each other?"

"Well, kid, if you must know," Steve started. "I've decided to search, too. If Chris is right with his questions, whatever everyone is searching for should be worth finding."

Pony nodded. "Yeah. That's true. Soda told me last night that he's curious about finding the answers to the questions himself. Then again, he's interested in anything that sounds like it could be an adventure."

I kind of figured that Soda had been interested after our talk the previous afternoon. And Pony was right. It was like an adventure. An adventure into the unknown. I don't think any of us knew what we were searching for, but if we found it, would our searching be worth it?


	7. Chapter 7

Ponyboy and I have biology right before lunch. We usually talk while doing our work. It makes the time go by quiker and it allows us to ignore the socs. Not many greasers get into the smart classes. So, it's not unusual for me or Pony to be alone in a class full of socs. At least in biology, Pony and I can stick up for each other.

"Are we going to the local grocery store during lunch?" Ponyboy asked me as he turned to glare at the soc who kept throwing paper at us.

"I don't know." I replied. "Two-Bit said something about going to the DX station earlier."

Ponyboy looked at me. "Two-Bit's here?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he showed up after first period. I ran into him on my way to english class. Said he needs gas for the car."

We were silent for a few minutes. Then, Pony sighed, "You know, Steve is going to yell at Two-Bit for not stopping there before he came here. It's not like a few extra minutes would have hurt him. He was already late."

I laughed quietly. "True. But, we get to see Soda. And who knows? Maybe we can make plans to do something later tonight. It's Friday and Darry usually lets you go do stuff on weekends."

At that moment, the bell rang and we both left the class room. We walked down the hall and outside to the parking lot where Steve and Two-Bit stood waiting by Two-Bit's car.

"Two-Bit, why didn't you stop by the station before you came to school?" Steve was asking. He nodded slightly when he saw me and Pony approaching.

"It's no big deal Steve. I just didn't feel like stopping then." Two-Bit said. Pony and I exchanged a knowing smile.

"Okay, we'll go to the DX station. But if she runs out of gas before we get there, you're pushing her by yourself." Steve told Two-Bit as we all got into the car.

We managed to make it to the DX station okay. Two-Bit sang the song to the Mickey Mouse Club the entire way there. Which isn't very far, but when you have to hear Two-Bit sing that song over and over again, it seems like an eternity. Anyway, when we pulled into the gas station, Soda came out and met us.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Soda asked, wiping his hands on a towel.

"Smarty here forgot to put gas in his car this morning." Steve replied, pointing at Two-Bit. Two-Bit just grinned and shrugged.

"Is that all? Or did you come to get something to eat, too?" Soda teased as he filled the gas tank.

I looked around before asking, "Does anyone have plans for tonight?"

"Yeah, Chris wants to go do something." Pony added for me.

"I have to come here and work for a few hours, but I'll meet up with you guys after I get off." Steve replied. I knew he would. Steve rarely goes home on weekends.

"I guess I'll do something with ya'll. What are we doing?" Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head to one side.

Soda looked at me too. "So, Chris, what are we doing? Anything to do with the whole searching thing?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought it would be nice to go to Jays or something. Maybe go to the Nightly Double."

"Why don't you kids come to youth group tonight at my church?" A friendly voice behind me asked. We all looked to see a youg looking man standing behind us. "It starts at seven and we're doing a drama presentation tonight."

Pony and I both looked at each other. I had heard about the little incident with Steve dropping the hymn book and Two-Bit waving at the congregation. And I knew Pony was remembering that by the way he was looking at me.

"Sure. We'll be there." Soda said with his famous grin.

The man handed Soda a flier with directions to the church and left with his bottle of Pepsi in hand.

"Soda, are you crazy?" Pony asked. "Why did you do that?"

Soda shrugged. "I don't know why. But I feel like we should check this thing out. Besides, it's not like we had any official plans or anything. Besides, he's been bugging me to check out the youth group for weeks. His name is Brian. Well, to be more formal, it's Pastor Brian. He's the youth pastor."

"But what about Steve?" I asked . "He won't be off till around eight."

"I'll still meet up with you guys." Steve said. "The church isn't too far from here."

"Well, what about you Two-Bit? Do you want to check out this youth group thing?" Pony asked.

Two-Bit though for a minute. I knew he'd rather go out and drink. But he grinned and said, "Yeah, I'll check it out."

Soda put an arm around my shoulders, "Chris, I think we have our plans for tonight. We are going to watch a play at church."

I just nodded and once again exchanged a look with Ponyboy. That evening would either be a good thing ar it would be an embarrassing disaster. It never occurred to me that there could be more to going to a church than for just a play. Like Pony, I was hoping to make it through the evening with limited embarrassing moments.


	8. Chapter 8

"I can't believe Soda said we'd go to that youth thing tonight." Ponyboy whispered to me once we were heading back to the school. The two of us sat in the back seat while Steve and Two-Bit sat in the front. I watched as Ponyboy lit up a cigarette.

"Maybe it won't be so bad." I told him. "Besides, didn't you used to go to church a lot?"

Pony glanced at me. "I did. And it was okay. It's just, I keep remembering how Soda and those two acted when they came with me and Johnny that one time. I haven't been back since. And well, the thought of going to a church reminds me of Windrixville and..." His voice trailed off as he looked out the window.

I knew he was talking about Johnny and the fire. He rarely mentioned it and when he did, he never could finish what he was saying. He'd just look away with the same pained expression he had now.

"You don't have to go." I said. "If it's too hard for you, the two of us could go do something else."

Ponyboy gave me a small grin. "Thanks Chris. But you should go. Maybe Darry and I can toss the football around or something."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "I don't have to go to the church."

"I'm sure, Chris." Pony insisted. "Besides, we have all afternoon to do something."

I nodded. By then, we had arrived at the school. Two-Bit and Steve both turned to look at us. "You two aren't backing out on us, are you?"

Ponyboy sighed. "I think I'll do something with Darry tonight. Chris will still go."

Steve grinned at me. "I hope you're still going. This searching thing was your idea."

I laughed. "Okay, I'm still going."

Two-Bit was eyeing Ponyboy carefully. "You're thinking about Johnny aren't you? Is that why you don't want to come with us?"

"Yeah." Pony sighed. "I just don't think I'm ready to walk into a church yet. Not after what happened up in Windrixville."

The rest of us nodded as we all got out of the car and walked towards the school. I was kind of disappointed that Ponyboy wouldn't be coming with us to the youth group that night, but I understood. Losing Johnny and Dally had been hard on all of us. Especially Ponyboy. He was doing better than he had been, but sometimes, it still hurt him. Johnny had been his best buddy. And I guess losing him was like losing a brother. I hated to think of how he would be if something had ever happened to Darry or Soda.

"See you two later." Two-Bit said as he and Steve turned to go to their shop class.

I watched as they walked away before falling into step next to Ponyboy. We walked in silence until we got to the door of Pony's English class. Then, Pony looked at me. "I hope you're not too disappointed that I'm not going with. I just don't know if I could handle it."

"Pony, I understand." I said.

Ponyboy nodded as he stepped inside the classroom. I then walked to my math class, wonderingwhat that night had in store. I also thought about what Pony and I could do that afternoon after school let out. Maybe the two of us could find out what the searching thing was all about. Or at least think of things socs and greasers could both be searching for. I dodged a few socs as I entered my math class and took my seat, still wondering what it was people searched so hard for but couldn't seem to find.


	9. Chapter 9

After school, Ponyboy and I went to the drug store in the shopping center for some cokes. We had planned to see a movie at the movie house but nothing that was playing caught our interest.. So we decided to go to the drug store instead.

"Are you sure you wast me to go to that youth thing tonight?" I asked Ponyboy for probably the tenth time since lunch.

Pony took a sip of his coke before replying, "Chris, I'm sure. Besides, I know Soda would be disappointed if you don't go."

"He'll be disappointed that you're not going." I pointed out.

"I know, but he'll understand. You, on the other hand should go. Who knows? You just might find what everyone is supposedly searching for." Pony told me.

"At a church?" I asked. "That's a crazy idea!"

Ponyboy grinned. "Yeah, maybe it is."

I thought for a minute. "Do you really think Soda would be disappointed if I decided not to go?"

"Yeah, I do. Chris, he was the one who befriended you before the rest of us did. I know the two of us have become good friends, but you should spend time with Soda, too." Pony replied as he stood up to go throw away his cup.

It was true, Soda was the first friend I had made when I moved to Tulsa. He had been walking to Steve's house when he saw the moving van in front of my house. So, he came over and introduced himself. It wasn't long before I had met the others. Including Johnny and Dally. That was in July, a few months before Johnny and Dally both died. It was after Johnny and Dally's deaths that Pony and I became good friends, but if it weren't for Soda, I wouldn't know any of them.

"Are you ready to go Chris?" Pony asked once he returned.

I nodded and followed him out of the drug store. We walked to his house where Soda sat on the porch in his stocking feet drinking chocolate milk.

"Hey you two!" He called out cheerfully when he saw us. "Ready for tonight?"

"I'm not going, Soda." Pony told him.

"Pony, you have to!" Soda exclaimed. "It wouldn't be the same without you."

"Sorry, Soda, but it's just hard for me. It reminds me of Johnny and the fire." Pony explained. "But Chris is still going."

Soda grinned at me. "I'm glad. But, I wish you'd come with us, Pony."

Ponyboy sat down next to him. "Maybe next time. But right now, I don't think I could handle it. I know things have gotten better as time has passed, but there are still things I'm having a hard time with. This is one of them."

Soda just put his arm around Pony's shoulders. "That's okay. You don't have to come."

Pony looked up at me. "Hopefully, Two-Bit will still go. Otherwisa, it'll be just the two of you until Steve shows up."

"Yeah." I agreed while Soda nodded. "Boy, tonight is going to be really interesting. I hope we don't end up regretting it."

"Me too." Soda admitted. "But Pastor Brian seems to like it and he's okay. So maybe it won't be so bad."

I nodded absently as I recalled my conversation with Ponyboy at the drug store. I still thought it was a crazy idea that we would find what people are searching for in a church, but at the same time, I couldn't help wondering if maybe Pony was on to something and didn't know it.


	10. Chapter 10

Soda and I arrived at the church exactly ten minutes before seven. Two-Bit never showed up. He might have forgot though. He is a bit of a scatter brain. Then again, he probably just decided to find a party and get drunk instead. You never knew what to expect from Two-Bit.

"I hope Steve shows up later." Soda whispered to me.

"Me too." I whispered back.

The two of us were standing by a wall trying to look cool but feeling really stupid. We didn't know anyone there. Well, I recognized some kids from school. But I didn't really know them. Although I was sure they weren't socs or greasers.

"Soda! How are you?" Pastor Brian walked up to us. He looked at me and extended his hand. "I'm Pastor Brian."

"Chris." I said as I shook his hand.

Soda also shook his hand never answering Pastor Brian's question.

Pastor Brian motioned for a couple of boys to join us. "Soda and Chris, this is Aaron and Jeff. They're two of my student leaders. They'll be showing you two around and will hopefully make this evening a little more comfortable. It's never easy being the new kid."

Soda and I exchanged a look. We had very little if anything in common with these two boys. Although I was sure I had seen Jeff at school. I think his locker was just down the hall from mine. It turns out he recognized me too.

"Don't you go to my school?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah." I replied.

"I thought so. Your locker is near mine. How did you hear about this?" Jeff was looking at me with a friendly smile and I noticed that Soda was having a similar conversation with Aaron.

"Well, three other friends and I were visiting Soda at the DX station during lunch, trying to decide what to do tonight and Pastor Brian came over and invited us to come here." I explained feeling a little more comfortable than I had a few minutes earlier.

"Where are these other friends?" Jeff gave someone a high five as they passed.

"Soda's brother decided to stay at home with their other brother. Church brings back some hard memories for him. One friend just didn't show. And hopefully our other friend will show up later. He had to work." I told him.

Jeff nodded as Aaron and Soda both joined us. "Hey, Jeff, lets show these two around. The wall paper must be boring them by now."

Soda and I both laughed as we followed them around. They showed us the collection of board games and the snack area. It wasn't at all what I had expected and I could tell that Soda was thinking the same thing. We were both used to church where adults dress up in really nice clothes and older ladies wear their easter hats year round. It was different seeing young people not too different from us doing some of the things we did. I immediately wished that Ponyboy had come with. He would have liked it.

"So, it's time for us to go in now." Aaron was saying. "We'll let you two decide where to sit."

The four of us entered the sanctuary and Soda and I led the way to spot in the back. We never like to sit up front. Especially if it could draw attention to us. Not that it mattered here because it seemed like everyone was saying hi to us and shaking our hand.

"You two are in for a treat." Jeff whispered to us as Pastor Brian got on stage. "This play is supposed to be really good."

"What's it about?" Soda asked.

"I'm not sure." Aaron admitted. "But the title of the play is 'Searching'. "


	11. Chapter 11

Soda and I exchanged a look. Then Soda turned back to Aaron. " 'Searching'? "

"Yeah." Aaron replied. "They've been working on this play for the past couple of months. The students who are acting in it say it's really good."

Jeff nodded. "They were doing the final rehearsal earlier this afternoon. It sounds like it'll be as good as they claim."

Soda leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Chris, is it just me, or does this seem unreal? You've been talking about how it seems like everyone is searching for something. Now, we're about to see a play called 'Searching'. Don't you find that to be kind of strange?"

I could only give him a nod in response. I was thinking the same thing. But I didn't know how to react. Surely, this play had nothing to do with what I had been thinking about. How could it? My friends and I are greasers. What could a church possibly have that we could be searching for? It seemed odd to me.

"The worship team is going to lead us in some songs before the play begins." Jeff was saying, interrupting my thoughts. "You can sit or stand. Do whatever feels natural."

Soda and I stayed seated while Aaron and Jeff both stood.

"What do you think?" Soda asked. "Was it worth it to come?"

"I don't know." I admitted. "Ask me after the play."

Soda grinned. "Do you think this play will have the answers we're looking for?"

I sighed. "I don't see why it would. It's probably just a coinsidence. There's no way a church play would have the answers to what we're searching for."

"But Chris, what if it does? We both know that this thing people are searching for isn't available just anywhere. If it was, we would have found it by now." Soda said. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked towards the front of the room.

"If it does, that's great. But I'm not going to sit here and hold my breath." I told him as Aaron and Jeff sat back down.

"Well, this is it." Aaron said. "After Pastor Brian takes the offering, the play will begin."

Jeff turned to me. "So Chris, are you looking forward to seeing what this play is about?"

I grinned at him and nodded. But I didn't say anything. I just didn't think that a church would have the answers to what I had been wondering about. And I knew Soda was probably feeling the same way. At the same time, I was curious to see what this play was about. Everyone around us was as excited about the play as Jeff and Aaron were. Maybe the play would be good. All Soda and I had to do was sit there and watch it. And hope that Steve would keep his promise and show up after he got out of work.


	12. Chapter 12

The play started and I slumped back in my seat watching with critical eyes. I'm not usually critica, but right now, I was. Soda was watching more curiously. Neither of us watched with the same interest as Jeff and Aaron. Then again, they were probably used to this. They didn't have to be curious or critical.

As the play progressed, I found myself becoming less critical. I just found myself watching as the actors acted out a scene that was a little too close to home. It was two rival gangs who were very different from each other. Yet, by watching, I could see how similar they were. And I wondered if thats how people see us greasers and the socs. I watched, unable to take my eyes off of what was being played out in front of me.

Soda sat unmoving. Which for him is rare. Everyone knows he can't sit still. He's always moving. Even if it's just tapping his foot. But he was not moving now. Instead he watched the play with intensity.

Occassionally, Jeff or Aaron would glance over at me and Soda. Probably to see how we were reacting. But being greasers, Soda and I tried to stay as emotionless as possible.

I watched as the two groups on stage progressed from being on two different sides to discovering that despite their so called differences, they weren't different at all. They had the same worries. The same need to belong. The same desire to do something with their lives. The same sence that they were all searching for something that they weren't sure they could ever find.

As I watched not only that scene but all of them, I noticed that everything these characters thought they were searching for only led them to search even more. Nothing seemed to satisfy them. Any happiness the situations brought were short lived and the searching continued. And as I watched, I saw myself in a lot of the same situations and I could tell Soda saw himself in those situations, too.

Soon, the play was over and once again, I found myself wondering what everyone was searching for. The play was clear on what people think they are searching for. But I still wanted to know what everyone was really searching for.


	13. Chapter 13

After the play was over, Pastor Brian got up on the stage. It was at this point that I realized that Steve was sitting on Jeff's other side. I could tell by Soda's expression that it was the first time he noticed Steve was there, too. Both of us had been so focused on the play, neither of us noticed when Steve had arrived.

Jeff quickly introduced himself to Steve making sure to mention that Soda and I had told him that he would be coming. Steve just politly shook his hand. He didn't need to do much more than that since Pastor Brian was starting to speak.

"Wasn't that a good drama?" Pastor Brian asked, getting cheers in response. He grinned at all of us. "We have some talent here, don't we?"

Pastor Brian waited a few minutes for the cheers to die down. He stood there with this happy grin on his face.

"I know some of you could relate to this drama." Pastor Brian continued once the cheering subsided. "All of us are searching for something. There isn't anybody here who isn't searching. But as you saw from this drama, the things we think we are searching for really leave us unsatisfied. They only leave you wanting more because you still feel empty inside. For example, many people turn to drinking to get over their daily problems. They claim that when they drink, their problems go away. But what happens when the alcohol wears off? The problems are still there and they're still searching. Only, they search for another drink. It's the same thing with everything we think we may be searching for. It might bring happiness for a while. We might forget about our problems for a while. But, it always ends up where we started. We always find ourselves searching for something."

Pastor Brian paused for a minute to see how people were reacting.

"We don't have to search anymore. The answer is right here." I looked at Soda, then Steve. Pastor Brian went on. "I know some of you think that's crazy. But, it's true. You can discover what you're searching for right here before you leave. And it's easier to find than you think. He's right here. He's all over this place. He wants you to know him. Just as he knows you. It's not about what you're searching for. No, it's about who you're searching for. And this person can bring more satisfaction into your life than any of that other stuff. This person can give you more than money ever could. This person can change your life in ways you wouldn't expect. And best of all, this person wants you to find him. You can find him right now before you leave. If you want to meet this person, I want you to raise your hand."

I noticed that people all over were raising their hand. At first, I just looked around. Then, I slowly lifted my own hand, careful not to look at Soda or Steve because I didn't want them to think I was crazy. But, I really wanted to know who this person was and if he was really what everyone was searching for.


	14. Chapter 14

Pastor Brian stood silently on the stage for a few minutes, watching as people lifted their hand. A gentle smile spread across his face. "Thank you. Now, I'm going to ask those of you who raised your hand to get up out of your seats and come down here to the front. Don't be shy, most of the students here have already done this."

I still hadn't looked at Soda or Steve since lifting my hand. And I felt kind of stupid at the thought of going up front. After all, what if they hadn't lifted their hands? What if I was the only one? What would they think?

"Chris, will you come up with me?" Soda whispered. "I don't want to go up by myself."

"You lifted your hand?" I asked.

"You don't think I'm weird now, do you?" Soda asked softly as he stood up.

"No, but I was afraid I was the only one." I admitted.

"Well, you're not. Look, even Steve is getting up. Lets go with him. That way, we can find out what or as Pastor Brian put it, who everyone is searching for together." Soda said as we followed Steve out into the aisle.

"Steve, wait up!" I called softly. He stopped and waited for Soda and me to catch up, then we walked up front together where others were gathering. "How was work?"

"It was okay." Steve replied. He looked at me carefully. "Do you think we'll discover what we and everyone is searching for here? Or will this be like everything else?"

I shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to find out."

"I wish Pony had come with." Soda commented as we found a spot along the wall and stood together waiting for what was next.

"Me too." I agreed. "I wish Two-Bit had come, too."

Steve and Soda both nodded. Like me, both of them had turned their attention back to Pastor Brian who was still standing on stage watching as people gathered in front of where he stood. The three of us were kind of standing in an area where we weren't with the others but we weren't away from them either. Just close enough so people would know we had gone up front. But not close enough to look like we were a part of what was going on.

"Could the leaders and alter workers please come down now and start going over the packets now?" Pastor Brian asked.

"That's it?" Steve asked. "Where's the answer? What or who are we searching for?"

"You're about to find out." Jeff said joining us. Aaron was also joining us, three white envelopes in his hands. "We'll explain everything as we go through the packet."

Aaron handed each of us an envelope. "This is kind of uncomfortable, isn't it?"

None of us said anything. We just silently looked at the envelope in our hands. Soda turned his nervously in his hands. While Steve and I stared at ours like we weren't sure if we should open it or drop it and run.

"You can look inside." Jeff said with a grin. "You won't find the answer to what you're searching for until you do."

"Can't you just tell us?" Steve asked impatiently.

"Usually we do. But Pastore Brian instucted us not to for tonight." Jeff explained.

"Why?" I found myself asking. I was still staring at the envelope in my hands.

"Because the drama is called 'Searching' Pastor Brian wants everyone to open the packet and look at what's inside before we explain anything." Aaron said. "Jeff and I have already found what we're searching for. The only way you three will find it is if you open the envelope."

Soda stopped turning his envelope and looked at me. "I'll open it if you open yours."

"Yeah Chris." Steve said. "You started questioning what people are searching for, you should open yours first."

I sighed. I know it sounds silly, but the idea of opening that envelope made me nervous. "Let's open them at the same time."

Jeff nodded. "That works. I'll count to three. Then you guys open the envelopes, okay? One, two, this is going to be good guys, and three!"

I opened my envelope as Steve and Soda opened theirs. I reached inside and pulled out a handful of stuff. I noticed that both Steve and Soda were doing the same. We all looked at Aaron and Jeff who were both watching us.

"Are you ready to find out what all this is about?" Aaron asked. He grinned as Soda, Steve and I all nodded. We were finally going to find out what or who we were searching for. At least I hoped that was what was going to happen.


	15. Chapter 15

I looked at the cotents I held in my hands, unsure of what to think. All I saw was some paper that looked like it had to be filled out, something else that looked like it had to be read and a little book. What did this stuff have to do with what we were searching for?

"A Bible?" Soda asked looking at Jeff. He had opened the little book and was paging through it. "We have one of these at home."

I nodded. My family had one too.

"It's only one book of the Bible." Jeff explained. "It's the gospel of John."

"We're searching for some guy named John?" Steve asked narrowing his eyes.

Aaron laughed. "No, but John was one of his disciples. You are actually searching for Jesus."

Soda looked at Steve. "Isn't that the guy the pastor was talking about that day we went to church with Pony and Johnny?"

"How would I know? I was too busy goofing off like you. You only sat still for about about five seconds when Pony glared at you." Steve said impatiently. He then turned back to Aaron. "Okay, who is this Jesus guy? And why are you so sure that he is what we're searching for?"

"Let's go to the lounge area where we can sit down." Jeff suggested.

"You're stalling." Steve said. "Who is this Jesus?"

"We'll tell you in the lounge area. There's too many distractions here." Aaron said. He and Jeff started walking away, turning to make sure we were behind them.

I shrugged and followed along with Soda. Steve stood where he was, then followed us very slowly. I don't think this was what he expected. Then again, I can't say I blamed him. I wasn't expecting it either. We were searching for some guy named Jesus? I didn't have much experience with the whole church thing. But I had gone a few times. I had heard of Jesus, but I didn't see anything about him that would cause me to search for him. He was just some person in the Bible like that John guy.

"I don't see how this could be what we're searching for." Steve grumbled as we entered a room with a few sofas and chairs.

"Have a seat guys." Jeff said. He was already sitting on one of the sofas next to Aaron. Soda and I sat on the other sofa, while Steve slumped in a chair away from the rest of us.

"Sit with us, Steve." Soda said with his cheerful smile.

Steve gave his friend a tiny grin but shook his head.

"Are you sure, Steve?" Aaron asked. "You can sit here with us and just listen. I promise we won't force you to fill anything out or to accept that Jesus is what you're searching for. That's your decision and only your decision."

"I'll stay here." Steve mumbled. The way he sat slumped down in the chair with his arms crossed almost reminded me of Dally.

Soda gave Steve one last look that was a plea to join the rest of us before he turned his attention to Aaron and Jeff. He and Steve usually did everything together and to see Steve not joining the rest of us clearly bothered him.

"I'm still here." I whispered to him.

"I know." Soda sighed. "I just wish he'd sit here with us."

"Hey, if he changes his mind, or gets curious enough, he'll join us. Or at least he'll move the chair closer." Aaron told Soda. "This happens sometimes."

Jeff nodded. "Yeah, I was the one who sat in the back for the longest time. I just couldn't believe that Jesus or anyone else for that matter could be what I was searching for."

"Maybe you should share your story, Jeff." Aaron suggested. "Then I'll share mine. I think it'll make it easier on them if they hear how Jesus has worked in our lives and how we have come to konow that he is what we were searching for before we try to explain anything else."

"I agree. You guys don't have to be home at a certain time, do you?" Jeff asked.

Soda and I shook our heads. I guess Steve shook his head too. But he remained where he was, acting like it was a waste of his time but not bothering to make an effort to leave. I glanced at Soda and he looked back at me. Neither of us could be sure that Jesus was what we were searching for, but we were curious enough to find out. But I could tell that both of us were wondering if Steve was curious too or if he would leave still searching if Soda and I decided that Jesus was what we were searching for. Or would we all leave still searching for something?


	16. Chapter 16

Soda and I both sat on the couch waiting for Jeff and Aaron to share their stories. I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean. But, I figured it couldn't hurt. Steve remained in the chair picking lint off of his DX shirt which was covered in grease stains. He was trying to appear uninterested, but I knew he was. I think Soda knew too. But we knew he wouldn't join us. He was too skeptical to just go ahead and join the rest of us.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll go ahead and share my story." Jeff said. He paused for a moment. Probably to gather his thoughts. Ponyboy does that a lot when he has to speak to someone he doesn't know that well.

"I was raised on the east side near the rail road tracks. I'm sure I don't need to explain where that is."

He didn't we were all familar with the rail road tracks. Although that was more Tim Shepherd's turf than ours.

Jeff continued. "Well, being from the east side, you don't have a lot. At least I didn't. I was very poor. I used to spend every day wondering if I was going to eat or not. To top it off, my parents were never really there for me. My mother ignored me. But my dad would holler at me all the time when he was home. He would probably be home for a day or two every two weeks or so then he'd run off to who knows where. I used to wish he'd stay wherever it was that he went. But he always returned. As I got older, I started to yell back at him, which eventually led to physical fights. See this scar?" He rolled up his sleave and poited at a faint white line about two inches from his wrist.

Soda and I both nodded as he rolled the sleave back down.

"That was from one of our fights. He threw a glass at me and it broke. Anyway, I also got involved with Tim Sheperd's gang. As a result, I started to steal things. Hey, I had to get food some how. My parents weren't providing it. Unfortunately, or maybe I should say fortunately, I got caught. I spent a few weeks in reformatory which isn't fun. But after I got out, I met Pastor Brian. He invited me to come here and at first I just sat in the back trying not to be noticed. Then one day, he spoke on how God is the father who will never leave us. I couldn't believe it. My dad left me all the time. How could some big guy in the sky be a father who never leaves you? I remember arguing with Pastor Brian about that after service that night. I was determined to prove him wrong." Jeff stopped to make sure we were listening. I noticed Steve was looking at him through his complicated swirled hair.

"Pastor Brian proved me wrong instead. Well, to be more accurate, he challenged me. He gave me a Bible, the whole Bible not just the gospel of John that you're holding now, and some verses to read. I'm not a huge fan of reading, but I read those verses and I don't know, something happened. The following week, I spoke to Pastor Brian again and that time I accepted Jesus into my heart. I found what I had been searching for that night. And while things still aren't great at home, I can at least know I have something better." Jeff finished his story.

"Do you still hang out with Tim?" Steve asked from where he sat.

"We do talk occassionally, but I stopped spending time with the gang shortly after I accepted Jesus. It just wasn't the thing I wanted to do." Jeff replied.

I looked at Soda who was looking at Steve. I wasn't sure what would happen before we left but, we still had to hear Aaron's story before we would find out for sure if Jesus was really what we were searching for.


	17. Chapter 17

I quickly turned to look at Steve and knew from the way he was sitting that he was slightly interested in what was going on but didn't want Aaron and Jeff to know. I could tell Soda knew that too from the way he raised his eye brows at me. But Steve's face remained emotionless. And he still sat in the chair as far down as you could possibly go without falling on the floor.

"My turn!" Aaron said with a grin. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and Soda shrugged. Steve sort of sighed as if the whole thing bored him which Aaron ignored.

"I didn't grow up on the east side like Jeff did. Believe it or not, I'm from the west side. I was a soc. Probably as socy as you can get." Aaron looked at each of us carefully. Probably to see if we'd try to jump him or not. None of us moved, although Steve did make some sort of noise that was a cross between a snort and a sigh.

"Cool it Steve." Soda said softly. Only Soda can tell Steve to cool it. If it had been me or anyone else, Steve would have lost his temper. But because Soda said it, Steve just crossed his arms and pretended not to listen.

"I still live on the west side. But I don't really hang out with the socs anymore. I almost destroyed my life with all the partying and stuff. You all think we have all the money in the world to spend, don't you? Just because we live in the nicer neighborhoods." Aaron watched as Soda and I nodded. "Well, I thought that, too. I had bought a car a bunch of clothes not to mention every Beatles album I could find. Along with that, I would buy beer and other stuff."

"You're not much older than me. how did you get beer?" Soda asked.

"My parents are friends with a person who owns a liquior store. He would let me buy beer even though I don't have an ID and am under age." Aaron explained.

"Oh." Soda said.

"Anyway, the more I had, the more I spent. And I developed a bad drinking habit. I started out because all of my friends were doing it. And I liked how it felt once I was drunk. Although the hang over after was never fun." Aaron shook his head at the memory of drinking beer with his friends.

I snuck another look at Steve who was busy picking pebbles out of the bottom of his shoes. He glanced up briefly and gave me a look, then went back to his shoes. I noticed that Soda had removed his shoes. Not that I was surprised, Soda always takes off his shoes when he can.

Aaron continued with his story. "I got to a point where I was spending money just so that I could buy something. It didn't matter if I needed it or already had it, if I saw it, I had to buy it. Eventually, I was spending my entire allowance on junk I really didn't need. Most socs don't need half the stuff they buy. Eventually, I started stealing money from my parents. Taking some out of my mom's purse or my dad's wallet. I even stole money out of my little seven year old sister's piggy bank."

"You stole from a kid?" Soda asked and I could tell from his face that he couldn't imagine ever stealing anything from Ponyboy.

"Yeah. And that's how I ended up here." Aaron sighed. "Sarah, that's my sister, walked in one day when I was taking money out of her piggy bank. She ran and told my mom. I thought about denying it. But how can you deny something when someone saw you do it? And the look of betrayal on Sarah's face was something I never thought I'd see and I hope I never see it again."

Jeff stood up and walked to where Steve was sitting. But he just stood there and nodded for Aaron to continue.

"Well, my mom told my dad what had happened and at first he wanted to kick me out of the house. But then my mom insisted that I come here. That it would be good for me. At first I was against the whole thing. Oh, I came. But I sat in the back and tried to disrupt everything that went on. I would even get up several times to go to the bathroom which was really leaving to wander around the building or to go outside and smoke." Aaron said trying to keep his voice steady.

"That's how we met." Jeff spoke up from where he stood behind Steve.

"It's also how I met Pastor Brian other than the usual handshake he gives when you first walk in. I had gone outside for a smoke and Jeff here had gone outside, too. At first, I thought he wanted to smoke too, but instead, he invited me to come back inside to sit with him. That's when Pastor Brian joined us. Hey, why did Pastor Brian come out that night? Did we have a guest speaker?" Aaron looked at Jeff who was now sitting on the floor next to Steve.

"I think so." Jeff replied.

"Okay, well, Pastor Brian started telling me about Jesus with Jeff's help. At first I sort nodded. You know, like when someone's talking to you and you know you have to be polite but what you really want is for them to go away and leave you alone? But then Jeff told me his story and even though he was a greaser and I was a soc, somehow, I found that I could relate to him. Like maybe we really weren't so different. I didn't accept Jesus that night. But it wasn't long before I did. Maybe a few weeks. And I haven't regretted it. I've changed a lot since then. Even stopped doing things with my old friends. I don't need any more trouble in my life."

"Did you ever give your sister back her money?" Soda asked softly.

Aaron grinned. "Yeah, I even took her out and bought her a new Barbie doll."

"And now is the time for you three to decide." Jeff said. "Do you want to accept Jesus, or not? And remember this is your decision, but it's probably the most important decision you will ever make."

I already knew what my answer would be. And when I looked at Soda, I wondered if his answer would be the same. Turning to look at Steve, I knew it would be hard to tell what he was thinking. All I knew was I hoped my decision was right, otherwise, I would end up searching again.


	18. Chapter 18

"It's decision time." Aaron said looking at each of us. "This is the most important decision you will ever make."

I noticed that Soda was looking through the contents of the envelope. He had the same expression on his face that Pony usually has while trying to do his homework. Serious and focused.

"Well, are you ready to accept Jesus? Are you ready to find what you've been searching for?" Jeff asked. I wondered briefly if he was asking all three of us or just Steve since he was looking at Steve and not me or Soda.

Aaron sat on the floor between where Soda and I sat. "Okay, what is your choice? And remember, you don't have to accept Jesus. This is your choice."

I thought for a minute. I didn't know what I had to gain if I accepted this Jesus, but, I figured I had nothing to lose either. After weighing my options, I looked at Aaron and softly said, "I'm ready. I want to accept Jesus."

Aaron grinned and looked at Soda who just gave a small nod which kind of surprised me. I had half expected for him to wait for Steve's response before making a decision. Aaron led us through a short prayer and explained what eveerything in the packet was. Then, he went to join Jeff and Steve.

"I knew you'd say yes." Soda whispered to me.

"I wasn't sure if you would." I admitted. "I thought you'd wait for Steve to make his choice."

"Well, I wanted to, but then I got to thinking about Pony and Darry. What if this is what everyone is searching for?" Soda asked.

"There's more to it, isn't it?" I asked. "You seem more serious than you normally would be about this sort of thing."

Soda reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "I haven't shown this to anyone, not even Darry or Ponyboy."

"What is it?" I asked.

Soda just silently handed me the envelope. "Go ahead and read it."

I took the letter out of the envelope. As I read it, I knew why it was important to him to make the decision that he had just made. It was a draft notice. Soda was being drafted into the war.

"When do you leave?" I asked.

"I'm not sure." Soda admitted. "But I think it's soon."

"When are you going to tell Darry and Pony?" I asked peering over my shoulder to see if Aaron and Jeff were still talking to Steve.

"Probably tomorrow morning. That way Steve and Two-Bit will hear it, too. I'm not sure if I'd want to tell Steve tonight. He's getting enough information as it is." Soda replied.

An idea occured to me. "Soda, what if Steve's getting drafted, too? Both of you are eighteen. That letter could be in his pocket, too."

Soda shook his head. "No, if he was drafted, he'd be gone already. He would have left Tulsa without a second glance."

"So, why did you decide to accept Jesus?" I asked.

Soda shrugged. "I figured that I had nothing to lose if I did. Besides, I think I may need him to get through the days and nights in the war. It'll probably get awfully lonely at times."

"I guess you're right." I said softly.

"Hey you two, we should leave now." Aaron called from the doorway.

Soda and I got up and slowly made our way out of the room and the building. We both watched as Jeff handed Steve a slip of paper.

"Here's my number, if you change your mind or just want to talk, call me. Or try to catch me at school." Jeff told Steve.

"Thanks." Steve mumbled shoving the paper in his pocket.

"Bye Soda and Chris. I hope you'll come back." Aaron said shaking our hands.

As we watched Jeff and Aaron leave, I knew that Soda and I had made the right choice and Steve was still debating about what his choice would be. But I guess everyone finds what they're searching for at different times, even if it finds them first.


	19. Chapter 19

Later, Steve and I walked back to my house after stopping at the Curtis home for a few minutes. It wasn't a long walk. Maybe five minutes. Ten if you chose the long way around the block. Which is what we did. Neither of us were ready to go home yet. Especially Steve, who avoids his home as much as possible.

"So Chris, are you happy with the decision you made?" Steve asked suddenly.

"I guess so, why?" I looked sideways at him.

Steve shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't know what to think about the whole Jesus is what we're searching for thing. You dig?"

"Yeah." I mumbled kicking at a pebble on the ground in front of me.

"I need some time to think before I make a decision. I can't do it in one night like you and Soda did." Steve went on. By then we had reached my house.

"That's okay." I told him. Steve started to walk across the yard to his house but I called out after him, "Hey, we both know you really don't want to go home, why don't you stay here for the night?"

Steve turned and gave me a small grin. "You know what? Sometimes you drive me crazy like Pony does, but really, you're an okay kid."

"Sure." I said. "So, how about it? Do you want to stay over or not?"

Steve stood still for a minute. Then walked back to where I stood. I knew he would. Either that or he would have went back to the Curtis house. I was kind of glad he chose to stay at my place. I think Soda would have needed to show the draft notice to his brothers before he showed it to Steve and Two-Bit.

The next morning, Steve and I arrived at the Curtis house just in time to see Darry slowly read the draft notice. I gave Soda a look and he just gave me a sad look in return.

"I knew this could happen." Darry said handing the notice back to Soda.

"What is it?" Steve asked.

Soda sighed. "A draft notice. I have to go in the war."

Steve looked at me. "You knew didn't you?"

I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me, Chris? My best friend is leaving and you didn't say anything?" Steve looked at Soda. "I can't believe you didn't tell me, Soda, we're best friends, we tell each other everything. Why'd you tell Chris and not me?"

"I was going tell you, Steve. But I had to tell Pony and Darry first." Soda replied quietly.

"And Chris. What is this? You think of your blood family and your so called family in Christ before you think of your best friend? Soda, what about our future? We were going to save up and buy the DX station. We had plans." Steve said.

"Steve, I had to tell Pony and Darry first. Chris would have found out now, just like you are, but I told him last night because we both wanted to know why we made the decision to accept Jesus." Soda put his hand on Steve's shoulder only to have it pushed away. "Come on Steve. You know I don't keep anything from you."

Steve just silently walked out the front door, slamming it behind him. The rest of us were left standing in silence. Soda looked like the door had been slammed in his face even though he was standing across the room from it.

"Woa." Was all Ponyboy could say. He had watched the entire argument from the couch. "I never thought I'd see you two fight."

Soda just looked at Darry. "Darry, what am I going to do? I don't want to go off to the war and be enemies with my best friend."

"I can't tell you what to do about this, little buddy. Maybe you two are growing apart. After all, you made a decision last night that he didn't make." Darry said. "Anyway, we should get going Pepsi Cola. If we don't both of us will be late for work."

Soda and Darry both left me and Ponyboy alone in the small house. It was actually quiet for a change. Which is rare because unless someone is sick, the television and radio are both on as loud as they can go.

"Soda told me about last night." Pony said after a few minutes.

"Do you wish you had come with?" I asked sitting down next to him.

"A little." Pony admitted. "I promised Soda that I'd go next week with him. Darry said he'd think about it."

I grinned. "Maybe Two-Bit will join us this time."

"I'm not going to comment on that one." Pony told me. "But I am curious to see if you and Soda made the right decision last night. I want to know if Jesus really is what we're searching for. If he is, maybe I'll make the decision to accept him."


	20. Chapter 20

"Hey you two! What's going on?" I looked up from the gospel of John thing that I was reading. Aaron had told me and Soda the night before to read a chapter a day. I had read the first four that morning. Ponyboy was reading a book for english class.

"Not much." I replied. "What happened to you last night?"

"Sorry kid, I forgot. I ended up going to a party at Buck's." Two-Bit replied. He flopped down next to me. "Pony, what's going on with Soda and Steve? I stopped at the DX station on my way here and they weren't joking around with each other like they usually do."

Ponyboy sighed and put down his book. "They had an argument this morning."

"You're kidding, right? I've never seen the two of them fight." Two-Bit looked at me.

"He's not kidding." I mumbled.

"What happened?" Two-Bit asked.

Again, Pony sighed. "Soda got a draft notice in the mail yesterday, and showed it to Chris last night. Steve was upset because Soda told Chris first and not him."

"Soda was drafted? How is he taking it?" For once Two-Bit was serious.

Pony looked at me, "You can probably answer better than I can. I only read the notice. He talked to you about it."

I shrugged. "He really didn't say much. Just looked worried when he had me read it. And he said it was why he decided to accept Jesus."

Two-Bit was rubbing his side burns. He tends to do that when he's thinking. "Soda accepted Jesus? What in the world does that mean?"

I told him about the previous night. The play and being in the room after. It felt strange sharing what had happened because I wasn't sure if he would understand. It was the first time I had felt uncomfortable talking about something, even though I was sure I had made the right decision.

"You accepted Jesus, too? Do you really think that's what everyone is searching for?" Two-Bit asked when I had finished. "What about you Pony?"

"I ended up staying here with Darry." Pony admitted. "I didn't feel comfortable going because I thought I'd be reminded of the fire up in Windrixville."

"But he's coming next week and Darry might join us, too." I added. "You can come with. That way you can decide for yourself if Jesus is what you're searching for."

"I'll think about it." Two-Bit yawned. He probably didn't sleep much the night before. I've heard about Buck's parties and I was glad I had never gone to one. Two-Bit got up from the couch and left without saying another word.

Pony looked at me, "Boy, Steve must really be mad at Soda."

"I don't think he's mad. I think he just doesn't want Soda to go to the war. He'd rather go himself." I replied softly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Steve may be a little jealous. Steve would do anything to get out of Tulsa. But that's no reason to be upset with Soda. He didn't decide to go into the war, he's being drafted. If it were up to Soda, he'd stay here." Pony said stretching his arms above his head.

I just nodded. I didn't know how to react and I was surprised that Pony was taking the idea of Soda going into the war as well as he was considering how close they were. But he's known for a while that Darry and Soda both had a chance of being drafted. Maybe that's why he could handle it. Or maybe he was having a hard time, but didn't want anyone else to know it. Greasers aren't known to show much emotion. I noticed that he had gone back to reading his book and decided not to ask him what he thought about the draft notice. I figured if he wanted he would tell me when he was ready.


	21. Chapter 21

Steve was sitting on the front porch steps of my house when I got home that evening. Which surprised me because he hadn't talked to Soda all day and made it pretty clear that morning that he wasn't going to talk to me either. And even if he wasn't speaking to me, why would he be waiting for me to get home?

"Hey." I said carefully, standing about five feet away from him even though it was my house.

Steve just looked at me. I was relieved to see that he wasn't giving me the angry glare, but it wasn't a welcoming look either. He didn't say anything. Just sat there, smoking a cigarette.

"Look, Soda wanted to show you the draft notice. He didn't want you to find out the way you did." I said, still staying at a distance from him.

"Why didn't he show me it last night, too, Chris?" Steve finally replied after a few minutes of silence.

I sighed. "I guess both of us figured it was better to wait till this morning. You had a lot on your mind last night. We weren't sure if you'd be able to handle all the information from Aaron and Jeff, plus the news of Soda leaving in the same night. You know Soda wouldn't want to hurt you. He wanted to tell you."

"You know, the war is no place for people like Soda. Sure, he can fight good in a rumble. But a war is different. It could distroy him, Chris." Steve said.

"But you wish you could go, right?" I asked remembering what Soda had said the night before.

Steve nodded. "I've been hoping to get drafted. I know it sounds crazy to actually want to go, but I have nothing here in Tulsa. Soda has Darry and Ponyboy."

I sat down next to him. "Steve, you do have something here in Tulsa. You have us. You have the whole gang."

Steve gave me a half grin. "And maybe even that Jesus guy?"

"You made the decision?" I asked.

"No, I'm still thinking about it. I still don't understand the whole thing. Do you?" Steve looked at me through his curly hair.

"Not really." I admitted. "But I guess sometimes you have to take the chance."

"I guess you're right. However, I'm still not ready to make the commitment. I want to know if this thing is real, you dig?"

"Yeah, I dig." I said.

We sat there for a while in silence not saying anything. The sun was starting to set. Ponyboy and I often watch sun sets together. It was strange watching one with Steve. Although I wasn't sure if he was really watching it. It seemed more to me like he was thinking instead.

"Hey, Chris?"

"Yeah?" I asked facing him.

"I know this may sound crazy, but, can I go to church with you tomorrow? I'm off till the evening and I want to talk to Jeff." Steve was looking at me like he was expecting me to say no to him. The way he had often said no to me and Ponyboy.

"Sounds good to me. I was hoping for some company. Soda, as you know has to work and Pony said he had promised to help Darry with something." I replied. "And I'm not sure I want to know what Two-Bit will be doing. Although he did say he'd try to go to the youth service next week."

Steve rolled his eyes. "I know. He told me he went to Buck's last night. Anyway, I'm going to head over to Soda's. I'd invite you to come too, but I know you just got back from there."

I nodded as Steve stood up and crossed the lawn towards his house. A minute later, I was watching him drive down the street in his car. I knew he wasn't ready to accept that Jesus could be what we were searching for, but I also knew he wasn't totally closed to the idea either. He just needed to know more. Just like Soda and I needed to know more.


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning I walked over to the Curtis' home. Steve had spent the night there and I figured it would be easier if I went there instead of waiting for him to show up. Besides, The Curtises lived on the way to the church.

"Hey, Chris!" Soda greeted me when I stepped inside the home that had become as familar as my own. "Have some cake."

"Who made it?" I asked.

"I did." Darry yelled from the bathroom. He appeared a few seconds later tucking in a black t-shirt that shoud off his muscular build. "I hear you and Steve are going to church today."

"Yeah." I replied.

"Pony wanted to go. But he already said he'd help me with some errands today." Darry went on.

"I know, he told me." I said looking around. "Where is Pony anyway?"

"In the back yard." Darry replied.

Steve stood up from where he was sitting. "We should get going, Chris. "

"Yeah, we should. Tell Pony I'll stop by later, okay?" Darry sort of nodded as Steve and I walked out the front door and got into Steve's car.

"Hey, your car sounds better." I commented when Steve started the engine.

Steve grinned. "I replaced the muffler on it. It's still old but it's better than what I had."

"Let me guess, you took one off of a car at the DX, replaced that one with a new muffler and your old muffler with this one?" I asked leaning back in my seat.

"Yup! Saves me money. And why waste a muffler that can still be used?" Steve turned down the main street that led to the church.

"Why did it have to be replaced on the other person's car?" I asked. Knowing that Steve was enjoying every second of our conversation. He can talk about cars all day long if you'd let him.

"It belonged to a soc. No soc wants any rust on his car. That includes places where no one but a mechanic will look." Steve replied.

I rolled my eyes. What Steve said made sence. No soc would want his car or anything else he owned to have any flaws. They were the rich kids. Therefore, everything they had had to be perfect. Or seem perfect. I recalled Aaron's story. He was a soc. Yet, he knew he had been searching for something most socs haven't found. And he found it.

"Well, here we are. Looks like there's a lot of older people here." Steve said once he found a parking place.

"Well, it's not a youth service." I said, feeling nervous. I didn't know what to expect at a real church service. The only thing that came to mind was visions of Steve and Two-Bit throwing spit balls at the pastor. And Two-Bit wasn't even with us.

"Steve! Chris! How are you two?" Jeff ran up to us from across the parking lot. "I didn't know if I'd see any of you. Where's Soda?"

"He had to work." Steve replied.

"But he wanted to come. So did his younger brother." I added.

"Ponyboy, right?" Jeff asked.

I nodded. "So, where's Aaron?"

"He's inside saving seats just in case you guys showed up." Jeff replied. "lets go in so he knows you're here."

Jeff led the way inside the church. Several people said hello to us.

"These people sem friendly." Steve whispered to me as we walked to where Aaron was sitting.

"Hey, you came! Where's Soda?" Aaron said once we reached him.

"He had to work." Steve replied.

"That's too bad." Aaron said. He started clearing off stuff that he had spread across the pew. "You have to make sure you place stuff where people may be sitting if you want to save seats. otherwise, someone else might take them."

"Oh." Was all Steve and I said. We both sat down. I opened a hymnal and started lookeing through it.

"So, Steve, did you make the decision?" Jeff asked.

"I'm still thinking about it." Steve replied.

Jeff nodded as the pastor stood up in front of everyone and started the service. It was definately not a youth service. But, it wasn't boring either. Not what I had been expecting after seeing a bunch of older people when we first arrived.

"Not bad." Steve whispered to me when everyone sang a song when the sermon was over.

I glanced at him. I was glad he had come with. Even if he was still thinking about making the decision.


	23. Chapter 23

After service, Jeff and Aaron asked how things were going. I said things were fine but Steve hesitated. I knew he wanted to say something but didn't want to say it, too.

"What's going on, Steve?" Jeff asked surprising me. Usually only the gang could tell that something was bothering Steve. He was pretty good at hiding how he felt around others. But somehow, Jeff had picked up on it.

"Soda got drafted." Steve said so quietly that I barely heard him.

"When does he leave?" Aaron asked.

"We don't know." I replied. "Probably soon."

"And you're upset because he's leaving, right?" Jeff asked.

Steve nodded. "And because I wanted to be drafted. Soda won't be able to handle it. His brothers need him."

"Why do you want to go?" Jeff asked while Aaron and I just sat there listening.

"Because there's nothing here for me. It's worthless to stay here." I knew Steve would say that. Even though he knew the gang needed him.

"Your friends need you, Steve." Aaron spoke up. "And I'm sure your family needs you too."

I noticed Steve's eyes flicker with anger. But he said nothing. Probably because Aaron and Jeff didn't know about Steve's family. He usually only talked to Soda about his family. And I only knew what went on because I lived next door to him and could hear everything. However, I knew better than to ask Steve about it.

"My parents wouldn't care if I went to the war." Steve mumbled. "My father would be glad to finally have me out of the house."

Jeff looked at me, but I pretended to be interested in the hymnal. I didn't want to get too involved in the conversation. I didn't want to say that Steve was probably right. After all, his father kicked him out of his house almost every other day. Steve slept on the couch at the Curtis home more than he did in his own bed.

"Why is that?" Aaron asked carefully.

Steve was silent for a minute. Then in a soft angry voice, he whispered, "Because my father doesn't want me around. He kicks me out of the house almost every night. I spend most nights at Soda's. And sometimes, I stay next door with Chris."

"Steve, I know you may not want to hear this, or believe it, but there is a father who does want you around. A father who would never want to kick you out of his house." Jeff said softly.

"Let me guess, Jesus is that father?" Steve looked at Jeff.

Jeff nodded. "Look, I haven't had it easy either. If I was still running around with Tim's gang, I'd probably be looking for a way to go off to the war, too just to escape."

"What makes you so sure that Jesus is the answer to all of life's problems?" Steve asked skeptically. "If he's so great, then why don't more people know him as you would put it?"

"Because like you, they want to keep searching. And some of them just don't want to believe. Is that what you're doing? Refusing to believe?" Aaron responded.

Steve shrugged. "I don't know if I'd call it refusing to believe. I'm just not sure if I can believe all this stuff that you two are trying to tell me. I need time to think about this."

"Steve, what if you leave here and something happens? What if you have no more time to think about this?" Jeff asked seriously.

"Then that's a risk I'll have to take, isn't it?" Steve said. "Look, it's not that I don't want to believe all this. I'm just not totally convinced."

"Do you want to know something?" Aaron asked. "Sometimes, I still have a hard time being convinced about all this. Maybe we should let the subject drop for now. At least your thinking about it and you came here with Chris. That's a good thing. Are you coming to youth service later in the week?"

I nodded. "Ponyboy said he'd come with. And hopefully Soda will too if he doesn't have to leave before then."

"Great, we'll see you then." Jeff said as we got up to leave and went our seperate ways.

"You were quiet in there." Steve commented once we were back in his car.

"Well, they were talking to you, not me." I pointed out.

"So? Are you convinced of all this?" Steve asked.

"I'm not sure." I admitted. "This is all new to me too. If this is what people are searching for, I don't want to miss out. Do you?"

Steve didn't respond. At least not out loud. He just gave me a look as he turned down the street towards the DX station.


	24. Chapter 24

A week later, we were all at the Curtis house. Only this time was different. Aaron and Jeff were with us for the first time. And we were all watching Soda pack what he needed for the war. He would be leaving the next morning. So, we were all crammed in the small room that Soda and Pony shared.

"I still can't believe I have to go." Soda said for the fifth time that day. "Why did I have to get drafted? I don't want to go to war."

Darry put a hand on his shoulder. "I know you don't little buddy. But unfortunately, you don't have a choice."

"I know." Soda sighed. "But I really don't understand why they have to draft people."

"I don't either. It's just the way things are." Darry replied.

"And remember, you're not alone." Aaron told Soda. "God will be with you."

"So will our parents, Johnny and Dally." Ponyboy added.

Soda closed his small suit case and sat down between Pony and me on the bed. He tried to grin but couldn't. He hadn't been able to grin all day. And the rest of us were finding it hard to grin ourselves. No one wanted Soda to leave. Even Aaron and Jeff who hadn't known him long didn't want to see him go.

"Do you have everything?" Darry asked.

"I think so." Soda mumbled.

"I have something for you." Pony said softly. He got up and went to his desk where he pulled out a package.

"Thanks, Pony." Soda said as he unwrapped it. Inside was a journal plus stationary so he could write home while he was away.

"I know you don't like writing as much as I do, but I thought it'd be useful since we won't be there. And you can write us and let us know how things are going." Pony told his brother. He leaned against Soda's shoulder and watched as Aaron also handed Soda a package.

"It's a Bible. You only recieved the gospel of John last week. But this is the whole Bible. It's not a new one. Well, new as in recently bought. It's actually one I already had but since I have one, I don't need this one. I want you to have it." Aaron said as Soda paged through the Bible.

"Thanks Aaron." Soda said softly. Then he forced a grin. "Well, this is my last night here. Let's stop being sad and have some fun! We'll have enough time for tears later."

I looked at Soda and noticed that despite his words, his own eyes had tears in them. "It won't be the same here without you."

"Sure it will." Soda replied.

"No, it won't." I insisted. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know anyone here. And who else takes the time to listen to me like you do?"

Soda just put his arm around my shoulders and sat quietly. He knew what I was getting at. Pony felt the same way. No one in the gang listened like Soda did. He always had time for you, even if he was busy. Nothing would stop him from listening to one of us talk. Not even if it was something he had heard a million times before.

"You know Chris, God listens to you, too." Aaron spoke up. He had been sitting on the floor with his back against the closet door.

Jeff nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Aaron's right. It's part of the whole searching thing. Lots of people tend to search for someone to listen to them. And even though you can't see him, God will always listen to you."

"Are you serious?" Steve asked. He had been staring out the window. Out of all of us, he was probably having the hardest time with Soda leaving. He hadn't said much all day.

"Yeah, I'm serious." Jeff said.

Steve went back to staring out the window.

Soda stood up and joined him. "Hey, I'll be back. It's not like I'm leaving forever. I'll be back home before you know it."

"Soda, I wish I could trade places with you." Steve said.

"Don't talk like that." Soda told him.

"Hey, why should you go off to war? You should stay here." Steve replied.

"Steve, I have to go. I don't like it any more than you do, but I have no choice. Just like you have no choice in staying. besides, how do you know that you won't be drafted too? You could end up going to the war,too." Soda said.

"Steve, are you thinking that you'll find what you're searching for if you go to Vietnam?" Jeff asked.

"I don't know." Steve admitted. "And I know you're going to try again to get me to make the decision and I'm still not ready."

Soda looked over at me. I knew he was wondering if the two of us had made the right choice ourselves. And if we had, why wasn't Steve willing to make the same choice. Had we found what we were searching for? Would Steve ever find what he was searching for, if it wasn't what Soda and I had found?


	25. Chapter 25

Soda left for Vietnam the next morning. Only Darry and Ponyboy went with to see him go. But Pony told me about it that afternoon.

"It was hard seeing him leave, Chris." Pony said. "I've always been closer to him than I am with Darry. Now, he's going to the other side of the world. He promised he'd come back when he could."

I looked at Pony and he looked back at me.

"He is going to come back, right?" Pony asked. "I mean, he'll come back the way he left. Alive and grinning, won't he?"

I sighed. "I hope so. But sadly, war doesn't promise that. But if he doesn't make it, he'll go to a better place."

"I want him to come back here." Pony mumbled. "I don't think Darry and I could handle losing another family member."

"I don't think Steve could handle losing his best friend." I added remembering how Steve and Soda had gone to Jay's one last time the night before. "He's having a hard time with this, too."

"I know, Soda told me last night. Said Steve still wants to be drafted." Pony paused. "Steve's not going to make the decision that you and Soda made, is he?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. What about you? Would you make the decision?"

Pony thought for a minute. "Well, you and Soda both seem okay with it. Maybe I would."

"What about Darry?" I asked.

"You'd need to convince him of the facts." Pony replied. "I hope you and Soda made the right decision."

"So, far, I haven't found anything wrong with it." I told him.

We sat in silence for a while. Pony laid on his back, watching the clouds. It was one of those nice days with the clouds that look like huge piles of cotton. I sat and drew pictures in the dust with my finger, not caring that I was getting dirty.

"Do you think Steve will still come around even though Soda's away?" Pony asked suddenly.

I thought for a moment. "I don't see why not."

"I know Soda would like Steve to stick around." Pony said thoughtfully. "But, Steve might decide not to. He's always been closer to Soda and may not want to come around since Soda's not here."

"You never know. He might still come around. Don't forget, he lives next door to me." I pointed out.

"True." Pony admitted. Then added, "Soda hasn't even been gone a day and I already miss him."

I nodded and wondered if Soda was feeling the same way. If he missed us like we missed him. And I wondered how long he'd have to be away because things just wouldn't be the same without him.


	26. Chapter 26

Over the next several months, I got more involved with the church. Occassionally, Ponyboy would join me. Even Two-Bit would come with once in a while. Steve came with at first, but eventually stopped coming. He never said why. He doesn't even spend much time with the gang anymore. Sometimes I see him at home and we talk, but other than that, he seems to have drifted.

Jeff asks about Steve. Last week he asked, "Why don't you invite Steve to come to youth group next week?"

"I don't know. He's not as open anymore." I replied. "Besides, I think he wants time alone."

Jeff nodded even though I knew he wanted to see Steve come back.

"He still works at the DX. You can visit him." I suggested.

"I'll do that." Jeff grinned before service started.

Soda wrote often from Vietnam. He saw stuff no one should ever see. Always ended his letters with the promise that he'd return home. That he couldn't wait to see everyone again. Even said the decision he and I made that night after the play was the best decision he had ever made. Aaron and Jeff were both glad to hear that when I told them.

Yesterday, Darry and Pony both found out that Soda will be coming home. Sadly, it's not how any of us wanted him to return. Soda was killed while helping another soldier who was wounded to safety. Pony cried when he told me. But he also said that Soda often mentioned in his letters that if he didn't return home to Tulsa, then he'd go to his home in heaven and that he'd say hi to Johnny and Dally for us. Pony said that Soda did not doubt that he had found what he was searching for and wanted Steve to give it chance. But, after crying together, Pony and I both agreed that only Steve could find what he's searching for when he's ready. Just like Soda and I did.

After talking with Pony, I went home and saw Steve sitting on his front steps.

"Hey." I said, joining him.

"Hey." Steve mumbled. He looked at me. "What happened? You look like you were crying."

"Steve, I'm not sure if I should tell you." I said. I thought maybe Darry should break the news to him. He said he'd call Steve and Two-Bit later that evening to tell them about Soda.

"Tell me what, Chris?" But when I had to turn away, he made a soft moaning sound. 'It's Soda isn't it?"

I nodded.

"But, he's okay, right?" Steve asked. "He's just injured and will be fine once he recovers, right?"

I looked at him, shaking my head. "No, he's not okay. He was killed Steve. Darry will tell you more later."

Steve's eyes started to tear up, but he blinked them away. "Chris, do you think you and Soda made the right decision a few months ago before he left?"

"Soda wrote that he didn't doubt it and neither do I." I replied.

"Do you think Jeff and Aaron could come over? I think I'm ready to make that decision now." Steve said softly. "If Soda didn't find any reason to doubt it, then maybe I should give it a chance, too."

An hour later, Aaron and Jeff joined us and Steve made the decision. Later, Pony called me to say that he had also made the decision and that Darry was thinking about it but wanted more facts. One by one, we were finding what we and everyone else was searching for. And I knew Soda was with him looking down on us with that movie star grin of his.


End file.
